The healing that I am trying to represent here stems my move to Austin. I am from the Panhandle and the version of my upbringing in my perspective didn’t have a lot of variety or depth. That is represented on the left in black and white, very systematic, predictable. My environment growing up was a lot of uniformity in the way of opinions, expectations, everyone pretty much did the same thing generation after generation. Dressed the same way, schooled at the same institutions, married to the same calendar, etc.
When I moved to Austin years ago, I felt like I had woken up. I was exposed to diversity, inequality, range, and depth on many levels. That is meant to be represented on the right side. I saw colors I hadn’t seen before, shapes that were new to me, and it really opened up my perspective into a world that could be. I tried to incorporate my connection to nature as a major healing guide with textures of water and grass, which is a hard bargain where I’m from.
The trauma in all of this lies in the fact that I wasn’t really supported in my move. I lost friends, forfeited family members and for awhile, forgot who I was supposed to be.
That expectation shifted when I gave myself the freedom to essentially let go of that self. After having gone through it, I realize that there’s really beauty in becoming and building a life that you want to live. There’s no rule on living. It’s really up to you to define yourself.
